My Seventeenth Pondering (Long time coming…)

Hm…It’s been over five months since my last entry.  Let’s just say life is still tough but (but’s are always good) things could be worse.  Been spending most of my days either teaching the violin OR wasting time on the computer.  I watch WAY too much computer…you might as well replace the word TV with computer now.  With all these sites (legal and illegal) you could practically watch anything.  Since my last entry, Mad Men season 3 has ended and Top Chef Las Vegas was SUPER fun!  Started watching The West Wing (don’t know why this didn’t start sooner) and as usual, always watching Friends.  Thank you Friendschanne1 on youtube!  Then there are the usual shows I’ve been watching including Office, 30 Rock, Grey’s, Food network, etc. etc.  And my new favorite show on tv these days is Modern Family.  It’s funny, smart, cute, and heart warming all at the same time.  Now THAT’S a good show.

Every so often, I watch something that inspires me.  It so happens I was watching the Green Planet channel (one of a bajillion channels I have on FIOS) and there was a documentary on Russia’s wilderness.  Long story short, the emphasis on tigers was really sad.  So I was inspired to raise awareness the only way I know how, through chatting!  Hence every day on my gchat status, I try to raise awareness of a new species that is endangered.  Kinda learning a lot along the way and turning people’s heads.  When people start to ask, “What is up with all the animals?” you know they are interested and my plan is working!  How long can I keep it up?  Who knows but probably forever since like every single animal and plant species on Earth is endangered.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not environmental Mother Earth freak.  I just think it’s important we take care of our planet as humans and caretakers of what God has created for us.

And still looking for a job…the endless searching…but now new thoughts are coming into my head, especially in the form of Grad School.  History MA-PhD???  Law School???  Public Policy-Government MPA???  Or all three?  Or none?  And I’m pretty much brainwashed at this point that I would make a great college professor.  Why does everyone think I look and act like one?  I bet if i dressed like a street thug and talked like Denzel Washington, people say something different…or would they?

My sixteenth pondering…Life is tough…

…sigh..is there anything else much to say beyond that?.

My fifteenth pondering…is having too much a bad thing?

Lately I’ve been watching way too many movies and tv.  I go through tv shows like a box of pringles.  Right now I’m watching AMC’s Mad Men, a REALLY fascinating show.  Any history lover would like this show, but it’s interesting enough for anyone to enjoy.  It’s no comedy but there’s a lot of different issues this show touches on.  It’s fascinating to think that fifty years ago, life was just like what it was in this show.  It’s really mindboggling to think how much has changed since the 60′s.  I’ve never seen so much smoking in my life.  The show does sorta make you wonder the benefits and limits of being successful.  In a time of economic downturn, I think we all want to get out of this gutter and make tons of money and never look back.  I know I do, but then how much is too much?  When does all the money and power get to you where it starts creating problems?  Unnatural desires?  A Longing for more and what could have been?

Trust me, you want to watch this show.  Plus, it won like all these Golden Globes and Emmy’s.  It even looks enticing.  The visuals and sets are so authentic, they look so fake.  I can’t imagine how wealthy hair product companies must have been in the 60′s.  Everyone’s hair is perfect and rigid, they never move!  Was it really the good life?

My July FOURteenth posting…

Happy Independence Day!

Felt like the same old holiday as last year, except is it just me or are the fireworks getting less and less interesting? Maybe cause I just watched it on tv. From my bedroom window, I had a whole spectacular view of fireworks all around my region and the sound alone was quite thrilling. I can imagine what a battle might sound like to civilians. It’s good to live in a tall house. Nothing much has happened since my last posting. Time seems to be moving equally slow and fast. Every day ends and begins again but my life seems to not be in sync with it. It sucks feeling sorta lost and out of tune with the world. Even job hunting has lost its appeal and I’ve fallen into a cycle of worthless desolation. Somehow I’m suppose to find the joys in the little things of life, but where are they? Or maybe I’m just so blinded by my own selfishness that I miss them and set the standards too high. I do have a tendency to do that with everything. I suppose even in the most depressing of times where I could die of boredom, I should still be thankful that I have even that. It’s a strange idea to be thankful for the good AND the bad, but I guess you don’t fully appreciate the good until you realize the bad is just as important to acknowledge.

Boredom is my enemy…it can drive me insane in all kinds of ways, like a drug. But even boredom is something I should be thankful for cause it gives me time, time to read, time to go to the pool, time to just sit around, time to sleep, time to read, and time to reflect. It also gives me a reason to watch movies. I know, movies…how worthless and wasteful of my time. But sometimes movies can be good. I just watched Marley and Me and its a great insight on life, love, relationships, family, and ultimately a man and dog relationship. (Watch it!) Essentially, this movie sorta freaked me out about life (and made me cry a little) and the things that will face me as I step forward each day in my life. All the trials, sufferings, the questions of “who am I?” or “what am I doing” or “Is this really who I am or what I want to do?” are out there just ready to hit us. Am I ready for it? Is anyone really ready for it? But somehow human beings have survived everything the world has thrown at them, ensuring that we are a species that endures and triumphs. Hence, if billions of human beings have gone through this journey called life before me, I’m sure I can do so just the same, hopefully even better than most of them.

My thirteenth pondering…yum!

So I thought I’d take the time to share with everyone that last night, I had the most DELICIOUS gelato. Pitango Gelato in Reston Town Center, part of the local chain started in Baltimore, was fresh, creamy, intense, and absolutely delightful. Who needs to order desert at a restaurant when you can come here! Although it’s a little on the pricy side but well worth it. I think it beats all the gelato I’ve had so far, with Whole Foods and Splendora coming to a close second and third. GO try it out!

For dinner, I tried this French Bistro across from it, Mon Ami Gabi. I gotta say I rarely eat out much, let alone at places like this, but I really enjoyed it. Despite the dark atmosphere and a bit noisy (it was Friday night) the food was good. I liked the service and the bread was delicious. They give you a whole baguette and when it comes out warm…mmmm…Only thing I wish was that the water was colder. After golfing, the last thing you want is lukewarm water. But they served it in a fancy glass bottle so I guess that makes up for that. I tried skate for the first time. I saw it on Top Chef once and just wanted to try it. It was okay, a very chewy texture. The Caper Lemon oil sauce made it a little bit heavy after a few bites but it was not a bad experience. Next time, I think I’ll stick to the steaks or come for brunch.

My twelth pondering…cheap is good.

I went to TJ Maxx today, a place I haven’t been to in a VERY long time. Amazing the stuff they have, and given the price some of the stuff was a steal. Too bad I’m not wealthy enough to buy according to my freedom. But I was spontaneous enough to buy a new belt and what I’m sure is a crappy tart bake pan. Oh well, it’s a temporary testing one. Let’s see how many wonderful tarts, quiche’s, etc. I can make with them. WHO will taste them for me???

What is even better than cheap? FREE! Instead of going to B&N or Borders, just go to Library. I guess that’s about the only free option I have when it comes to things. I suppose you can’t get clothes for free. Not even Salvation Army stores seem to be free. If only GAS were free…

On another note, I finished watching Arrested Development.  How sad that an entertaining show has come to an end but at least there’s the movie to look forward to.  Now what do I watch?  I also watched Kitchen Confidential, which sadly was canceled after like 13 episodes.  It could have been quite good but I guess tv shows are a risky business.  The Asian Harold guy is in it and he said on the show, “To be a great chef you must first experience carnal pleasure.”  Just imagine him saying it and you get the idea.  You can use your imagination to figure out what he means by carnal pleasure…although I’m sure you can guess what he means.

My Eleventh Pondering…pain.

If I could curse on this blog right now, I would use every word available in the English language to convey how much I HATE mouth pain/soars of ANY kind. Canker soars are the Mother F*ck’n SOB curse to mankind and our delicate mouths. I just want to *BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP* the world right now. First you get the soar, then the pain spreads to like your whole mouth. Soon it gives you migraines and headaches and your whole body just hurts. WHY?!!?!?!?!?!?!  The sad thing is, you know it won’t go away in a day.  You have to ride it out.  Plus, it will come back in the future time and time again…

My tenth pondering…whatever happened to good ole written mail?

I must have seen this clip more times than the average person should see it, and some of you might have already seen it. But U think it’s just such a poignant clip about what friendship can be, even at such an old age, through troubles and trials, successes and tribulations. Maybe there is still something to be learned from our Founding Fathers. And man, who writes letters anymore? Who even writes e-mails like this? Maybe we should all take more care and thought into our e-mails, cause what written legacy will we have left when we leave this world?

This is from HBO’s miniseries John Adams, based on David McCullough’s book. It’s a very well done series, for history lovers and non alike. I recommend watching it if you got the time, OR read the book.

My ninth pondering…twittering with God, and then some…

After what seems like forever not seeing the sun, the weather was dare I say perfect? Well, not perfect…nothing is quite that good in my standards for life, but it came close. Enjoyed it at the neighborhood pool. Sucky thing about outdoor pools are the kids who get in my way and the water gets too comfortably warm after a bit. But what can I do? I’m poor so the neighborhood pool will have to do for the summer. At least its exercise. Also spent some time at Borders, as if I don’t go the bookstore enough. I could bring B&N and Borders so much business just by coming to their store, although I never buy anything. Yet today, I added a new book to my library of books that I still have to read. I don’t know how Jefferson did it, buying books after books, selling and giving away his collection, then buying a whole new library. Perhaps he just had too much time on his hand…the perks of living on a plantation??? hm…am I going out of bounds?

So I end up buying Golf for Dummies, and this other book on sale about how Tiger Woods plays golf. It was on sale. Only reason I would have bought it, well, it had lots of pictures too. I’ve been going through this golf stage, NOT phase, because I hope this one will last a lifetime. I mean having golf skills in a way is a life long and prosperous skill. It became clear to me that golf and business are like blue and yellow when they make green. A perfect harmony. Kinda like those Frito Lays commercials, which I like very much. Anyways, the last job interview I had made me realize the potentials of making really big deals and networking through golf. I mean if you’re somewhat rich and have a lot of time on your hand, you play golf. When was the last time you saw deals being closed on a basketball court or a tennis court? (You’d most likely find a flood of bitter emotions being unleashed in these settings.) Point is, golf is money. Period. Well, it’s fun too.

So now the twitter part, what does that have to do with anything?  Let alone twitter and God?  So normally I don’t like talking about churchy things on blogs or do like a mini sermon preach.  I always hating reading blogs like that and quite honestly, NEVER read them.  But today at Church, the pastor was talking about worship, what it meant, and how it should always consume us.  By doing so, the very act of worshiping takes us up to His presence and equally brought down to us.  As human beings, we’re all imparted with a longing desire for more greater than ourselves, but of course we’re flawed so we find it in things that come second best.  I know for me, that is 100% true.  No doubt about it.  And worship 24/7???  More like, -24/-7.  (Actually in math that cancels the negatives out so that doesn’t work…ok more like -24/7 )  But he reminded us that worship is not always about singing or coming to Church.  Sometimes it’s in little things like having a conversation with God, good and bad ones.  Regardless if you’re expressing praise, or ranting about a problem, I think God listens to it all and likes it.  Hence the twitter analogy.  I don’t twitter and I don’t know why people do.  But if people spend that much energy and attention to mindless details of their lives and want to share it to the world, why can’t we do the same with God?  It most likely is far more rewarding and meaningful than a meaningless technological fad.  I guess what I come out with this is that God listens and cares, regardless of the nature of worshiping.  So long as you do it, God will respect that and work with you.  Something I hope to take heart in these next season of my life, cause I really need guidance and comfort.

My eighth pondering…What is a friend?

Today, I had my first real job interview as a post graduate. It’s only the first step in the process but it might lead to something. If it doesn’t, then it wasn’t meant to be and I hope for more future opportunities. So in light of this, you would think I would ponder about idk oh the purpose of life? money vs. happiness? career decisions? something along those lines, but no. Despite all this, sometimes I have to be reminded that there is more to life than just jobs and money. Sure, it’s great but when I look back on my life, is that what I will think of first? Gosh, I hope not. Of course, if I was very successful, enjoyed my job, and made a difference through it, then sure, it’s good to remember it. But if I died today, I think more than anything I would be happy knowing what friendship means, and just having true friends.

I know it seems writing about friendship is so overdone or chiche, but why else would people always write about it if it wasn’t that powerful an aspect of human nature? I’m looking at a gift I just received (THANKS buddy…you know who you are) that probably says 10,000 more things to me than if someone got me a new car. Do I want a car? Sure. Would I trade it for friendship, never. And I don’t think I could have said that even one year ago. But it’s amazing what a little effort, huge leaps of faith, time, and yes, prayer can do. If there is anything that God has answered my prayers for in college, it was for close friends. Even the most random and lack of faith prayers were still listened and answered.

Sometimes I find myself wondering, “what is God up to in my life?” Whatever they are, good or bad, I at least have true friends in my life who will help me go through them, especially my brothers. And it’s almost weird calling them that because technically, I already have one. But Eric and Julius, if you read this, you truly are brothers to me in ways that are beyond words and actions

And so, in light of these thoughts, I find some neat and inspiring quotes on what friendship means to some other people. I hope you are inspired by them to become a true friend to those you call friend, or to reach out to those who you want to get closer with, of to the future friends who you will meet but haven’t yet.

(I apologize to those people who are not shown in the photo. I tried hard to include everyone. Well…maybe not hard enough considering this post could go on and on with a thousand pictures. If I forget you, then you can defriend me from facebook I guess. lol…I’ll fit you in in another post.)

“The most I can do for my friend is simply to be his friend. I have no wealth to bestow on him. If he knows that I am happy in loving him, he will want no other reward. Is not friendship divine in this?”
– Henry David Thoreau

“True happiness consists not in the multitude of friends, but in their worth and choice.”
– Samuel Johnston

“I do not wish to treat friendships daintily, but with the roughest courage. When they are real, they are not glass threads or frost-work, but the solidest thing we know.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.”
– Helen Keller

“Happiness is time spent with a friend and looking foward to sharing time with them again.”
– Lee Wilkinson